Impact of Abuse and Neglect on Young Children

No parent of a child is prepared for the experience of raising a child with emotional or behavioral problems. Because society, as a rule, is not as accepting of emotional problems in a child as they are of other disorders a child might have, the parents of the child tend to be blamed. While it is easier to find acceptance for a child with a physical disability or a language disorder, most people are less accepting of a child with an emotional/behavioral disorder. Even medical coverage is limited for children with emotional/behavioral disorders while treatment for other types of disorders is covered by insurance. As a result, families become vulnerable when they find that they are blamed by systems that were once a support, such as school personnel, neighbors, colleagues, church members, and others. While a family of a child with a hearing disorder receives services at school, empathy from friends and neighbors, and medical coverage through their insurance company, the family of a child with a behavioral/emotional disorder becomes isolated and must deal with intense feelings of guilt, shame, loss, or confusion.

It is common for parents to suffer loss of self-esteem or direction when dealing with the child’s behavior because they may think they have done something wrong or that there is something the matter with them, like passing on a defective gene that caused the child’s problem. Some parent’s religious beliefs may also cause them to feel that the child’s behavior is a result of God punishing them for a
wrong-doing.

Because of the stress a child with behavior or emotional disorder can cause on the family, parents often experience difficulty in their relationship with each other, often blaming each other for the problem. In-laws may become involved and relationship issues become magnified. Family members may take sides in blaming one parent or the other for the problem. Consequently, the divorce rate in families raising a child with emotional/behavioral problems is significant higher than in other families.

It is important for a family of a child with emotional/behavioral problems to remember that NO family is perfect and to accept the fact that they are doing the best they can given the circumstances and resources they have. Refuse to feel guilty. Accept the child without making excuses or trying to hide the issue from others. Learn all you can about the problem and seek help from a professional. If the first professional you see does not seem to understand your situation or be helpful, find someone else. It is important that whomever you work with is accepting of both you and your child.

There are many helpful support groups and organizations right here on the web where you can talk with other parents and experts about your situation. Check out the link section on this website for more information. In the book section of this site, I have included some of the best books that I have found on behavior and mental health issues. I have also included several related articles and resources. If you are a parent of a child with a behavior problem -- My best to you!

Pediatric Behavior now offers online counseling or consultation. Dr. Catherine Cain, PhD, LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 25 years experience working with families. Get the help you need from the convenience of your home. It is safe, affordable, convenient, and confidential. Visit PediatricBehavior for more information or to schedule an online or email session.