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to time-out or not to time-out, that is the question

Length of Time
Some experts suggest that the length of time-out should be one minute of time-out for each year of the child's age. For example, a three-year-old would stay in time out for three minutes. A four-year-old would stay in time-out for four minutes. But some three-year-olds may need only one minute to get themselves back into control and calm, while another three-year-old might need as much as twenty minutes or more.

There is no magic length of time a child should be kept in time out; instead, time out should be based on how long it takes the child to get back into control and calm. Base the length of time on the individual needs of your child, not on his/her age. The child should only stay in time-out until s/he is in control and calm.

Not Effective For All Children
Use time-out sparingly, and for some children, not at all. For example, some children will deliberately get themselves into trouble just to be able to sit in time out. This is particularly true if:

1. The child does not like the activity that is going on and time-out will allow him/her to escape.
2. The child is very shy and withdrawn and uses withdrawal as a way to escape.
3. The child is an attention seeker.

Is Not Connected to the Misbehavior                                                            

 Many child are unable to understand that they were put into time-out as a result of their behavior. This is especially true for children with certain disabilities or limited language. It is also true for less mature children. A better discipline strategy is to use natural consequences whenever possible. For example, if a child throws blocks, instead of being timed-out, the child would pick up the blocks AND the rest of the toy room. A child will be able to understand the connection of having to clean up the thrown blocks as a consequence for misbehavior much more readily than being put into a corner which is unrelated to the misbehavior.

To use time-out, follow this procedure:                

1. Give the child a direction.
2. Repeat the direction one time (giving the benefit of the doubt that the child did not hear the direction or did not understand).
3. Tell the child in as simple of words as possible the reason for being put in time-out. (e.g., "Time-out for hitting Billy.")
4. Do not say anything else and do not let the child engage you into an argument.
5. Tell the child they must stay in time-out until you are ready for them to come out of time-out.
6. If the child will not stay in time-out on his/her own, assist the child to stay put and tell the child that time-out will not start until the child is sitting independently.
7. You determine the length of time time-out should be. In other words, do not let the child take control of the situation by saying something like, "I will be good now," or "I am calm now." If the child says this, respond with something like, "Yes, I can see you are calm now. That is great. I'll let you know when time-out is over."
8. If the child starts complaining or removes him/herself from time-out, start the time-out process over.

The important thing to remember if you do decide to use time-out is to be sure you are in charge of how and when time-out is given and how long time-out lasts, not the child. The length time of time-out should be based on the individual needs of your child.

                                   2002 Pediatric Behavioral Health Resources, LLC

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