winning the 'whining' battle

Whining is a common behavior from time to time during the course of a child’s development, however, some children seem to ‘get stuck’ using whining as a way to get needs met too often or for too long of a time. Here are some strategies you can try:        

                                                                      
First, don’t forget to tell the child what it is you want changed. As adults, we often forget this very important step. You can say something like, “Mandy, I notice that every time you want something or don’t get your way, you whine. Whining is not a good way to get what you want, in fact, at times, it keeps you from getting what you want. So, I am going to help you stop whining. Every time you whine, I am going to have you repeat what it was you were saying in your normal voice.”

Then, when the child whines, remind him or her to say what it is s/he said in a normal voice. It is important that you do this every time the child whines and to not give in and give him/her what s/he wants until they have asked in their normal voice. For example, you might say, “You are whining. I cannot understand what it is you want when you whine. Try saying it again in your normal voice.” If the child continues to whine, keep pretending that you cannot understand him/her.

The important key here is to demand a normal voice every time the child whines. Although this is a lot of work at first, you should notice a difference in a day or two, as the child tires of playing the game of trying to get you to give in to his/her demands through whining.

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