Although an occasional child is ready for toilet training by the age of 1 ½, most children are not ready to be trained until they are at least 2 ½-3 years of age. Trying to train a child who is not ready to be trained can cause all sorts of behavioral problems. The child may experience lowered self-esteem or try to maintain control of his or her bowels to keep control.

A child is ready to be trained when you begin seeing some of the following signs:

• It is obvious the child is going in his/her diaper because the child grabs that area.

• The child has regular bowel movements.

• The child stays dry at night.

•  The child asks to have a soiled or wet diaper changed.

• The child stays dry for 3-4 hours during the day when awake.

• The child wakes up from naps dry.

Before beginning to toilet train a child, acquaint the child with the bathroom and its use. Demonstrate for the child how adults use the toilet and have a potty chair available for the child to see and get accustomed to. Make sure the potty chair is one that the child can access on his or her own. Start talking about how big people wear panties and don’t have to wear diapers anymore. Make this sound like a big deal and privilege without pressuring the child.

When ready, encourage the child to use the potty chair, offering a reward as a reinforcer. You can use small candy, like Skittles or M&Ms, or raisins, Cheerios, or other small bits of food. But don’t let your imagination stop there. I have trained hard-to-train kids using a multitude of reinforcers, including getting to screw a screw into a board with a cordless screwdriver, being allowed to spray air freshener after doing a ‘job,’ and getting a piggy-back ride.

Have ‘real panties’ ready for when the child becomes trained and use these as motivators as well. Show the new panties to the child frequently, telling him or her that soon s/he will be able to wear the big person underwear.

Have the child sit on the potty chair during times that s/he is typically dry during the day to start with. Do not make the child sit too long and make sure the child is comfortable. I like to play soft music and allow the child to read while ‘waiting’ for the event to occur. I also like to increase fluids during this time to make the chance of catching the child needing to urinate greater. Do not expect success on the first try and praise any effort the child makes to sit on the potty even if there are no results.

Once the child starts having success, make sure to lavishly praise and reward the behavior. When the child experiences success throughout much of the day, put panties on the child instead of diapers. If the child has an accident, it is important not to shame or punish the child. Simply encourage the child to keep trying and assure them that everyone has accidents.