Consistency:

The Key to Winning the Battle

 One of “thee” most important elements of changing behavior is consistency. What do I mean by that:

              Responding to the behavior in the same way every time.

                         Every time the child hits, ______ will happen.

            It is not so important what you fill in the blank with, as long as

            you do it every time.

I suggest making a list of behaviors that your child is doing that you want to change. Target only 1 at a time. Decide ahead of time what it is you will do when the behavior occurs. That way, you won’t have to react on the spot when you might be angry or forgetful what it was you planned to do.

 Why do this?

Young children are just learning social behaviors, and what is, or is not, appropriate. These newly learned behaviors will be tested to see if they hold. Eventually, they will become a part of a repertoire of behaviors the child will use when in similar situations.

 By being consistent, you are speeding up the “testing” time. If you are not consistent, the child will keep testing with misbehavior to see where the limit is. If you are consistent, the child will come to a conclusion much sooner and the misbehavior will not be prolonged.

 More Importantly….

Behaviors the child is learning now become “set”.

If the child learns that whining and crying will get

him or her what s/he wants, the child will continue

to use crying and whining.

 If the child learns that if they wait you out long enough (e.g., not answering, not listening, not responding, this behavior will become part of how they respond to others. Not what you want!